In my consulting work, I work with clients to solve problems. That, of course, means we have to clearly identify the problems, which, in turn, means I am guaranteed to spend time with people who are complaining. It seems natural that having problems would necessitate complaining, but when I get into it, I often get push back. They insist before we start that I promise not to let it turn into a “bitch and moan” session.

While I am not a fan of incessant whining, I would like to step up and defend complaining a bit. Complaining is important and has value, though obviously not in a vacuum. If all you do is complain, you don’t get anywhere. But it’s an important first step.

In graduate school I was led through an exercise and it started with two questions:

1. What sort of things, were they to happen more in your [work, life, relationship...fill in the blank], would you experience as supportive of your effectiveness and development?
2. And what sorts of things, were they to happen less for you in that context, would be supportive of your effectiveness and development?

That doesn’t sound like complaining, does it? Effectiveness and development? Actually, it is. Sure, it’s got a positive spin because it is focused on effectiveness and development, but it is still complaining. It’s saying I want what I don’t have right now, or I don’t want things that are getting in the way. But being clear about what it is (either more of or less of) that drives effectiveness and development, is a critical piece. 

This is called the “discourse of complaining” (this is based on the work of Robert Kegan, by the way). Make sure you build it into your problem solving. Work on getting better at it. Complain more effectively. Work on being able to come up with more nuanced complaints that clarify your situation. When you do this, you’ll be able to move onto the next discourse (the discourse of commitment). 

More on that later.

Related posts:

1. Wild Apricot Software News October 2009 Wild Apricot version 3.2 was released on October 1st, as...
2. A Process to help Define Member Value The last couple of weeks I have met with a...
3. Has Election Day Gone the Dogs?    Raindrop here. It’s Election Day in America. Time to...

I ran my own consulting business for seven years, so technically I was a CEO then, but I had never been in the CEO role within an association until June 2008, when I took a position at Management Solutions Plus, an association management company. Part of my responsibilities at MSP is serving as Executive Director for the National Association of the Remodeling Industry Metro DC Chapter.

So I was grateful that he posted a clear description of what the Freak Flag really means to him. Go read it, because it will help you understand this post too.

I get it. So here's my story of getting in touch with the Freak Flag.

I like to think. I shared some of my blog posts around the office the other day, and after reading the posts, one of my coworkers said "You like to think...a lot...don't you." It's true. It seems to be my nature to ponder things, turn things around in my head. It's fun for me and when I share what I've come up with, people seem to like it. It ends up being an important part of my work.

And while thinking is easy for me, speaking up is not. Now, I'm a blogger and a professional speaker, so it's not like I'm quiet all the time. I don't have any kind of dispositional resistance to expressing myself. I do it a lot.

I'm talking about the times where in order to really be authentic I need to say something...and I don't. There are too many of these times, and in those moments I often take refuge in my thinking and choose not to express. When a friend makes a racist comment, but I don't want to ruffle the relationship so I just change the subject. When a client dismisses a challenge I think they need to face, but my ego says it's better when the people who pay you are happy with you, so I tread lightly instead of speaking the truth. When someone I love hurts me and I'm afraid if I say something I'll just make it worse, so I bottle it up inside (and, of course, make it worse. This is an aside, but isn't it interesting that many things we fear we also secretly desire?).

The Freak Flag gently reminds me to stop that foolishness. It is forgiving, of course, and won't judge me when I remain silent. But the Freak Flag, for me, is ultimately about VOICE. To continue Joe's descriptions:

It is the celebration of voice and expression and truth.

It shouts "Silent No More"

It is the celebration of listening and welcoming all voices

It is the celebration of showing up and building and creating and unfolding

On Fridays (at the very least) I fly my Freak Flag and I remember my voice. Silent no more.

The basic premise of the book is that "management" as a field is basically an aging technology. Things we accept as givens in management now were developed over the last century, and while our technology or our processes were radically transformed at various times, management hasn't changed so much. This is a problem. Hamel argues that management innovation is what we desperately need today. From the first chapter:

Changing when you've more or less seen it before is easy. You adjust, adapt, modify, tweak, improve, etc. The problem fits within your model. Some of these changes are harder or more complicated than others, but with enough time and enough people working on it, you can usually make it through. Do your tweaking faster and more adeptly than your competitors, and people will call you a leader.

But what about something that doesn't fit the model? This is harder. You have to make bigger changes, challenge deeper assumptions, and come up with solutions that aren't yet proven. But is it really harder? Hamel points out that when companies are faced with big challenges like this, where they need new business models or make significant change, they are cast as "turnarounds." Important leaders swoop in to make dramatic changes with a crisis-focused change program complete with messaging, training, and powerpoint decks!

It doesn't have to be that way. Bigger change is hard, but it is not by definition traumatic. His goal is "trauma-free renewal," where organizations (much like systems in the human body) make automatic, spontaneous, and reflexive changes as needed. But the way we organize and the way we manage are really not comfortable with automatic, spontaneous, and reflective change. The book then explores ways to change this, and I'll write more about that in upcoming posts.

But for now I want to stay with the connection we have between trauma and renewal. I have faced some changes lately for which I did not have a precedent, and I admit they did feel traumatic. In truth, though, the trauma is mostly wrapped up in letting go of an image you have of reality that does not match the reality of reality. The trauma comes from investing heavily in a static view--that answers are permanent, that results are final--and then discovering that the world is in constant motion and not static at all. We work hard to be done, and then we are surprised and traumatized when the world keeps going. As I shifted my view to expect less permanence, the feeling of trauma dissipated, and I was better able to deal with what was happening.

Management innovation means changing the way we run our organizations in ways that break us from the dependence on being "done" and "right" and "successful." It requires a deeper awareness, both personally and systemically, of what drives our behavior and choices. But with this awareness comes some freedom from trauma, where the change is viewed as a natural shift, rather than a jarring adjustment. The result, Hamel argues, will be organizations that are "capable of continuous self-renewal in the absence of a crisis."

First, did anyone have an answer to that question? If so, leave me a comment. In the meantime, let's talk about authenticity.

It seems like a simple issue--just be yourself, right? Not exactly. I look at my day and all the people I interact with, from coworkers who report to me, to my boss, to the person at the dry cleaners, to my friends, to my kids, to my Mom, etc. If you collected all those interactions and placed them next to each other, you'd see a lot of different "people" in me. That was part of Maddie's original point in her blog post--that these multiple identities are becoming transparent with the help of social media.

And it's obviously okay to have multiple ways of interacting. We call these roles, and playing roles is not in and of itself inauthentic. It's okay for me to be one way around my kids and another way around my office colleagues (and both groups are grateful!).

Within each role, however, there is the opportunity to deny your true self, and it scares me how often we choose to do just that. We choose the convenience of the role over the expression of our selves. Frequently we are not even aware we are doing it. The role is safe and predictable, so we play it, and we choose to ignore the impact it has on us when we end up being less than our selves.

There is a way out of this trap, but it involves risk. In order to push the role boundaries, you have to risk. In order to truly be yourself, you have to put yourself out there, risking the reactions from those around you. The reward of actually being yourself, of course, is tremendous for both you and those around you. So In my mind, the risk is worth it.

Risk is one of those concepts like conflict--we're scared of it and often don't like it and want to mitigate it and control it, but, in fact, risk and conflict drive life! There is no creativity or growth or development without either of them. So embrace it, and be yourself.

As I'm looking at it, though, I am still seeing things in threes. Specifically, what emerged from my first look at the responses was the very traditional triad that I first heard used in diversity training long ago: head, heart, hands.

That is, the work of diversity is comprehensive. It's about thinking, it's about feeling, and it's about doing. If you focus too much on one part of it, you usually get mediocre results. The same, obviously, can be said about leadership and developing as a leader.

Head, heart, hands. Thinking, feeling, doing.

For each of those three areas, I saw two different angles covered in what people wrote about leadership:

Thinking: Self and Systems
Feeling: Courage and Love
Doing: Talk and Walk

I'm really happy love made the list.

I started the "Leadership Top 3" meme a few weeks ago (quite accidentally) and was excited to see eleven TWELVE THIRTEEN people post responses! It's a LOT of good stuff, and I'm working on some synthesis, but in the mean time, I thought I'd actually cut and paste everything into one post. Check it out (in random order).

Late to the party: Jeff Hurt:

First, “Go on ahead of the people.”
While people worry about today’s crisis, leaders think about tomorrow’s. Yes, someone needs to manage today’s calamity and many servants are needed to heal the wounded. But leaders need to be asking, “What next?” If Americans have a long dry dusty land to cross, how will they manage? If the cost of gasoline increases too high, how do we rethink our common life? If people can’t get loans for housing, where will they sleep?

That is lonely work. It draws little applause. Leaders who anticipate a different tomorrow can expect to suffer at the hands of the change-resistant and accountability-resistant. People will applaud a strong-willed person who stands tall amid the storm but they will turn against the leader who prepares for the next storm.

Second, “Take some of the elders with you.”
Wise leaders don’t go forth alone. For leaders are as susceptible to delusion and grandiosity as anyone. Leaders need colleagues who will push back, test ideas and share wisdom. They don’t want “yes men and women” with them. They want divergent opinions that offer wise council.

Third, “Go.”
Leadership requires movement. Not pointless motion, not rushing to the front to demonstrate a take-charge attitude. Leaders start forward at a time when others want to stand still. Leaders venture beyond comforts and certainties. Leaders look ahead, not behind, and try to keep pace with a dynamic world and changing reality.

Systems resent leaders and rarely express gratitude. Those who strive for approval won’t be effective leaders. Leaders suffer. That’s why most systems have managers, not leaders.

UPDATE: I knew I'd forget someone! Here is Eric Lanke's:

Eric Lanke

1. Make a decision. Get the facts, consult with others, hear what those affected by the decision have to say—but at the end of the day you need to make the decision and take ownership for what happens next. Leaders act.

2. Raise your expectations. The leader in any system sets the bar for performance, either knowingly or unknowingly. Do it knowingly. Expect more of yourself and of those you lead. You won't break the system and you may be surprised by what can be accomplished.

3. Don't get distracted. You must consciously decide what to spend your time on. Time is the most limited resource you have and it must be spent wisely on the things that you personally can have the greatest impact on. Don't let the trivial events of the day distract you from the long-range plans that you must nurture if they are to succeed.

Elizabeth Engel
Praise in public, correct in private.
This encompasses a number of things - catch your people doing good stuff. Make sure the people "above" you know when the people "below" you think of or do something great. Remember that good ideas can come from anywhere. There's no such thing as too much praise. Saying thank you is free. Make sure your people know that you have their backs.

Be willing to take risks.
Refusing to make a decision IS a decision. The only decision you'll ever make in life that you can't change later is the decision to have kids. Whatever you're considering is probably not *that* serious. Ask yourself, "What's the worst thing that could happen if we do this?" AND "What's the worst thing that could happen if we DON'T do this?"

Behave with integrity.
People have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they can trust you. That doesn't mean you're never going to screw up. But when you do, own it and FIX IT.

Toni Rae
1. Don't be afraid to lead. More succinctly: just do it. Many folks are placed into positions of leadership and feel the need to be everyone's "buddy." This is particularly true if the person in the leadership position was a peer to the folks s/he now leads. Realize that people WANT leadership. We crave it. We appreciate it so much when we encounter it. So read and heed all of the above points from my fellow bloggers and know that you won't please everyone all the time and yes, unfortunately, at times you WILL be judged.

2. Set an awesome example. My favorite leaders are folks that I want to be when I grow up. Walk the walk, talk the talk. Give back. Volunteer. Lead a healthy lifestyle. Please don't ask me to go drinking with you on Bourbon Street after a conference. Please refrain from gossip. (No, none of that happened to me! Well, okay, yes it did...)

3. Smile, laugh, share joy. Why? Because it all rolls downhill. This probably piggybacks on Deirdre's "Have a Heart" and Maddie's "Be Real." I tell you what: when leaders are happy, everyone is happy. When the boss is having a bad day, week, life--the entire staff feels it--and there's productivity, taking a nosedive. I'm not saying get all gushy when you feel good and hide in your office when you feel bad--I'll admit there's a fine line to walk in this regard. But realize the power of your position and the effect you have on those around you.

Dana Theus
Lead Towards a Vision Impossible
A fine art of leadership is motivating and inspiring people to go above and beyond - to provide greater quality service, to think more creatively than the competition, to be more productive - in short, to give more of themselves to your cause. This is easier said than done, of course, but it can be accomplished by sharing with them a vision of a future made better as a result of their efforts. Even the most jaded want to make a difference when they believe it's possible. So why an "impossible" vision? The impossible vision is the "we will go to the moon not because it is easy but because it is hard" (JFK) technique that activates desires so powerful that they motivate people into finding their way clear of all the why-nots that busy people surround themselves with on a daily basis (such as the "we don't' have the resources" why-not that can kill any good idea in a matter of moments.) Of course, the real art of Vision Impossible leadership is motivating people with a solid plan to move closer to the seemingly impossible goal, but the techniques for that are beyond the scope of this post. For more of my thoughts on how to enable Vision Impossible with Mission Achievable and Values Believable, see my white paper on the subject.

Try to Put Yourself Out of Business
Ok not literally, but figuratively, great leaders know that change is inevitable and that it's just a matter of time before "the next big thing" comes along to challenge the success of their current model. So if you're going to face annihilation from a better mousetrap eventually, why not be the one to invent the newfangled thing in the first place? Think of it as a twist on planned obsolescence and the key is the word "planned." If you are your own worst competitive threat, you have a better chance of managing the transition from one business model to the next, or one technology base to the next, or one market to the next. Bill Gates demonstrated this in the mid '90's when Microsoft went from proactively ignoring the Internet to accepting its inevitability through an 'embrace and extend' strategy, to dominating it (briefly) through the release of Internet Explorer.

To successfully compete with yourself takes courage because change always involves discomfort, and you certainly risk accidentally weakening a strong business by moving into the future before your market is really ready to go there with you. But I offer this up as a leadership philosophy more than a specific tactic because if you're looking for opportunities to put yourself out of business you will be thinking like your competition. When you're thinking like your competition, you're naturally out-of-the box and more likely to see opportunities to serve your customers and members before it's too late.

Be the Best of Who You Are
There was a time not so long ago when the image of your organization was supposed to be a finely crafted thing, a precise set of visual and messaging impressions that equated to your 'brand'. Well, brand is as relevant as it ever was, and still results from visual and messaging impressions you leave behind as you go about your business, but thanks to social media and the truth behind the Cluetrain Manifesto the market now demands that your brand and identity be 'authentic', more genuine and personal.The finely crafted image has become suspect due it's perception of craftiness.

Great leaders welcome this transition to more open communication about their organization and use it as an opportunity not only to tell their story more personally, but to become a better organization. By this I don't mean to change who you are, but to allow the public light to shine on you and your organization and encourage you to rise to your most worthy potential. There is much debate about whether the market demand for authenticity is accompanied by greater forgiveness and tolerance when you make mistakes, and this gives many leaders pause. After all, no one wants to go looking for criticism - especially in public venues. However, there is evidence all the way back to the cyanide Tylenol debacle of 1992 that greater transparency - being up front about the good, the bad and the ugly, apologizing when appropriate - is rewarded. Many organizations are responding to this trend with transparency statements, revitalized values statements and Codes of Ethics as a part of new commitments to social responsibility. Great leaders are not afraid to hold themselves and the organizations they lead to the highest standards; they welcome every opportunity to do so.

Sandra Giarde
1) Be honest - Be honest with yourself, your members and your leaders. This includes telling your board what they *need* to hear and not what they *want* to hear. Sometimes it's gonna hurt and there are days that they will hate you for it but you gotta do it. Resist the siren song of half-truths and "spin."

2) Be mindful - This one covers so many bases! Be mindful of your actions and how they impact others (your staff, your co-workers, your leaders, your members). Be mindful of your culture, your surroundings and landscape ahead as well as the landscape behind. Being mindful helps you to be one who acts as opposed to being one who reacts but it also allows you to act in a manner appropriate to your group and the situation at hand.

3) Push for Progress - Always be asking how you can do something better, faster, more efficient. Never stop the quest for improvement. Achieve your goal, celebrate it and then turn around and improve on it.

http://twitter.com/crlambert
My top three - Leadership needs to be grounded with a humble heart, an open mind and the willingness to serve.

Mike Frommelt
1) Communicator - Communication can happen in many forms i.e. one on one, in groups, by e-mail, by phone, etc… but it has to be happening on a consistent basis if this leader is going to be a champion for the culture/vision. If the candidate is not a consistent, or even better, the “constant” communicator (which includes being a good listener by the way), they are not a good candidate.

2) Self-Esteem - We look for people who are confident but not arrogant. Many believe that executives who are larger than life, arrogant or overly confident have high self esteem. This is actually not the case most of the time. Most executives that display over-confidence or arrogance are   actually not very confident in themselves and therefore cut down or continually lay blame on others in order to rise through the organization.  Low self-esteem whether it shows up as cockiness (most often with execs) or on the other end of the spectrum (inability to inspire/lead), is another knock out punch.

3) Non-Hierarchical Thinkers - To effectively carry the cultural/visionary message throughout an organization one has to have the ability to create trust relationships at all levels, not just at the executive level. If a candidate is obviously an elitist, treating lower level employees with less respect than the higher-ups, they will be a hindrance to cultural alignment. Again, a major red flag in our eyes. (Just as a little tip in this regard, I like to see how executive candidates treat the receptionist when they enter for an interview).

Jeff De Cagna
1.  Take responsibility–As we look around at what’s been going on in our society in recent years, it certainly looks as though many leaders want to hold positions of responsibility and enjoy the benefits those positions confer, without the inconvenience of being responsible for what happens (and what doesn’t happen) on their watch.  It is critical to understand that leadership must never be a vanity exercise, especially when it is undertaken on a voluntary basis.  In fact, I would argue that without an affirmative choice to take responsibility, there can be no leadership.  Not in the boardroom, the CEO’s office or anywhere else in the association.

2.  Be courageous–Courage is a critical ingredient of authentic leadership.  On the one hand, leaders need to have the courage of their principles and convictions, as well as the the courage to openly advocate for them, even when those beliefs are controversial or unpopular.  On the other hand, leaders need to have the courage to listen, and to seriously consider alternative points of view, even when doing so means admitting a mistake.  Courageous leaders understand the value of taking risks, and will never blame others for failure.  When it comes to leadership, taking responsibility and being courageous are intimately connected.  Leadership is not for the faint of heart.

3.  Embrace learning--Leaders believe deeply in building capacity, for themselves, for the people they work with and for their organizations.  It is actually difficult to imagine how one can function effectively in a leadership role if you believe otherwise, especially during this period of revolution and paradigm shift.  Today’s complex and dynamic leadership challenges demand a flexible and creative learning mindset.  Curiosity, inquiry and reflection help to nurture both insight and foresight, good judgment and wise decision-making.  These capabilities are the building blocks of more effective leaders and more successful organizations.

Deirdre Reid
Have a spine.
The right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do, but you must do it. Make tough decisions and set high standards. Stand by them. Face up to uncomfortable situations and deal with it — don’t let things fester because you’re not willing to say what needs to be said, or do what needs to be done. Be fair. Don’t play favorites. Make sure everyone follows the rules, including yourself. Admit when you’re wrong. Swallow your pride. Lose the ego. Be honest. Stick to your word. Have integrity. Make your mother proud.

Have a heart.
Truly care about others and don’t be afraid to let them know. Don’t manage or lead by fear, that’s not leading. If this doesn’t come naturally to you, think about whether you’re in the right place. Don’t ruin other people’s days for your own ego, get a clue. Treat others with respect. Live by the golden rule.
Be conscientious and sensitive to those around you. Pay attention.

Have open ears and eyes.
Really listen to what others are saying. Don’t just hear them, listen to them. Pay attention.
Look around you, scan the room, and see what’s really happening. Read people — their faces, their body language. Pay attention. Yes, I’m repeating myself, this is important. Never stop learning. Be curious. Don’t get lazy, seek out ways to learn. Don’t be shut in by preconceptions or prejudices. Be willing to see things from different perspectives. Be willing to change. Don’t be handcuffed by the past or the present, imagine many different futures.

Bruce Hammond
1. Be transparent - As a leader, you are responsible for steering the ship. If you want to have people trust that you're able to do so effectively, be open with the data you're using to make your decisions. As one of my contacts, a university president once told me, he makes every decision they come up with in their meetings public, so people don't feel as though they're being left out of important decisions. It shows that you are confident in the way you're conducting business, which should provide needed trust from your members.

2. Get a Mentor - Having someone from whom you can learn the ropes is an important aspect of becoming a leader. Someone who can help you through the questions you have, let you know where you can improve your skills in a trusting environment, and be there as you struggle in your efforts, should be welcomed by up and coming leaders.

3. Learn that It's NOT All About You - As a leader, it shouldn't be all about you. A leader needs to be able to surround him/herself with capable people who can do their jobs effectively, and then allow others to take the spotlight when they do something great. The goal is to have a successful association, not to feed the leader's own ego.

Maddie Grant
1. Combine big picture thinking with practical knowledge.

Know how things work on the ground, even when you see the future in the blue sky. Engage team members at all levels. Provide future direction that has a roadmap for getting there.



2. Give ownership of the system to each player.

Help everyone have a part to play in the strategic direction of an organization. Encourage ideas from all sources. Remind each team member how important they are. Break down silos. Level the playing field. Encourage individuals to shine. Give kudos when deserved.



3. Be real.

Be accessible. Talk to people. Don't be afraid to be wrong - but figure that out early. Don't be afraid to argue. Don't be afraid to laugh or cry. Ask questions. Mentor. Share yourself.


Dave Sabol
Simplicity
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication” - Leonardo da Vinci
Great leaders have the innate ability to make the most challenging situations simple by removing the extraneous and focusing on the core.

Empowerment
“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.” - General George S. Patton, Jr.
Great leaders teach others how to accomplish a task, tell them what is expected, give them the tools they need to succeed, and then get out of their way.

Agility
“First do it, then do it right, then do it fast.” - Anonymous
Great leaders accept the fact that our world is dynamic, change is a constant, what works today may not work tomorrow and are willing to adapt to the circumstances. In doing so they become prepared, and perhaps inspired, by the opportunity that the change creates.

Jamie Notter
1. Know yourself
Aaron mentioned self assessments like Myers Briggs and others. Take those self-assessments very seriously and work your whole career to get detailed feedback from colleagues about what impact you have on people. This relates to the "are leaders born or made" question. We all do have personal styles and preferences, but if you know them, then anyone can be effective in leadership. Bottom line: individuals with exceptional leadership capacity know themselves very well.

2. Understand systems
Learn about other departments. Seek out cross-functional teams. Request work details in other areas. Heck, have lunch with people who do things other than what you do and be curious. And study up on systems generally. It's not just the details of your system, it's also the dynamics that happen in every system. Two must-reads in this department: Peter Senge's Fifth Discipline and Barry Oshry's Seeing Systems.

3. Learn communication
I mean learning how to communicate at a very deep level. It's the glue that holds "leadership" together. Having a vision (even better: understanding a shared vision) doesn't get you very far if nobody understands you or you can't engage the right stakeholders. This overlaps with knowing yourself, frankly, but there are some very basic skills in asking questions, testing assumptions, giving feedback, and emotional intelligence that are critical to communicating in ways that actually increase your organization's capacity.

I have personally hit a tipping point with regard to "messages." I'm sick of them. I rarely watch TV, but when I do I look at the ads and think "Does anyone REALLY believe that Saturn is actually a different kind of car company? Does anyone fall for this?"

Of course when I manage my association, I think a lot about what we say. I try to say it right. Saying is still important. But I'm not sure it is as important as we think it is. We spend a lot of time in our heads, justifying our own behavior or trying to figure out others' behavior, or even figuring out how to explain our own behavior. That's all good thinking, but don't let it distract you from the behavior part.

Think about what you're going to do and why you'll do it. Respond to people's behavior, or at least give them feedback on it. Get feedback from others on your own behavior and its impact.

You want things to change? Change your behavior.

Jeff De Cagna then spontaneously did a blog post about his three (take responsibility, be courageous, embrace learning) and, better yet, tweeted about it, which got the whole meme thing rolling. Now Deirdre Reid and Maddie Grant and Bruce Hammond have weighed in (and it's all awesome stuff; take the time to read those posts).

So show us what you've got, blogosphere! What are your "top 3" things people need to do, learn, focus on, etc. in order to become more effective leaders. Do a blog post about it (or even just comment here if you don't have a blog). I promise to do a post at the end of the week that links to everything out there, so let me know via comments or by messaging me on twitter when you do one.

I know most blog memes involve "tagging" others to do it. I am reluctant, since I never was a big fan of chain letters. On the other hand, I really do want to here what a few people have to say about this topic. Consider it optional, but how 'bout it folks:

Dave Sabol
Lindy Dreyer
Joe Gerstandt
Sandra Giarde
Eric Lanke
Bob Wolfe
Jeffrey Cufaude
Elizabeth Engel

1. Know yourself
Aaron mentioned self assessments like Myers Briggs and others. Take those self-assessments very seriously and work your whole career to get detailed feedback from colleagues about what impact you have on people. This relates to the "are leaders born or made" question. We all do have personal styles and preferences, but if you know them, then anyone can be effective in leadership. Bottom line: individuals with exceptional leadership capacity know themselves very well.

2. Understand systems
Learn about other departments. Seek out cross-functional teams. Request work details in other areas. Heck, have lunch with people who do things other than what you do and be curious. And study up on systems generally. It's not just the details of your system, it's also the dynamics that happen in every system. Two must-reads in this department: Peter Senge's Fifth Discipline and Barry Oshry's Seeing Systems.

3. Learn communication
I mean learning how to communicate at a very deep level. It's the glue that holds "leadership" together. Having a vision (even better: understanding a shared vision) doesn't get you very far if nobody understands you or you can't engage the right stakeholders. This overlaps with knowing yourself, frankly, but there are some very basic skills in asking questions, testing assumptions, giving feedback, and emotional intelligence that are critical to communicating in ways that actually increase your organization's capacity.

Then at the end, he says "My big dream? I live my big dream."

I was really struck by it. It's almost hard to describe why. I guess I was surprised. I mean, living your big dream is a big deal, right? So why was this guy so calm about it? Then again, why not be calm? Why does living your big dream have to be the subject of a Jim Collins book ,or a vignette in a Tony Robbins seminar, or a segment on Oprah? Why does it need to receive acclaim? Isn't just living your big dream enough?

So why aren't you doing it?