Was she right or wrong?

Here’s the story…

• Callie was excited to join the committee.
• A fairly new chapter member.
• Introduced by Mike, the chair.

The discussion started…

• Callie asked for a clarification.
• Melba rolled her eyes and sighed.
• “We’ve done this forever. I would think even someone as new as you should know all about it.”

This was the first time Callie heard of the topic.

• Mike took a moment.
• Gave Callie a brief overview.
• The rest of the team squirmed with impatience.

The conversation continued on…

• Callie offered an idea.
• It had worked for others.
• “What if we partner with other chapters that are complementary to us?”

Melba attacked again.

• “We tried that in the 1980s. It worked for a few years - until the other chapters didn’t bother to show up any more. We got the message. We haven’t asked them since. People can join our chapter if they want to participate.”
• Others made noises of agreement.
• Mike ignored Callie’s suggestion and moved the conversation on.

Callie had had enough!

• She was not giving up her night to be disparaged by other members.
• She could say nothing right.
• And they obviously didn’t want her there.

Callie grabbed her phone.

• Looked at an “incoming” message.
• “I’m sorry I’ve got an emergency. I need to leave right away. Thank you for having me here tonight.”
• Walked out the door singing in her head, “And don’t worry, I won’t be back.”

Callie only stayed for the first 40 minutes of the meeting.

• They couldn’t pay her enough to stay for the rest.
• She voted with her feet.
• (Yes, the only emergency was the time being wasted at the meeting.)

What do you think?

• Was Callie wrong to leave without giving the group a “real” try?
• Or was she right to move on?
• (Would you have stayed?)

Who was the real problem at the table?

• Callie with a low-tolerance for being put down?
• Melba for the harsh comments?
• Mike for his poor facilitating skills?

I put most of the responsibility on Mike.

• He did not create a safe space for new members.
• Did not facilitate the diversity at the table.
• Ignored problems rather than address them.

Who let him be chair without proper training?

Makes me think of chapter leaders…what kind of experiences do first-timers on your committees have?

Originally posted @ Cynthia D'Amour on Leadership and Life